From the moment we wake up in the morning we battle our own resistance. It’s the voice that allows us to snooze a few more minutes. The resistance is the part of us that wants to make the easy choices in life. If I followed my resistance I would live on the couch playing playstation and eating hot dogs all day!
The other side of the resistance is the worrier within you. It’s the potential you have and the worrier is pushing you to fulfill your potential. Every day the worrier and the dragon of resistance wage battle. The first battle of the day is getting out of bed. If you get up early and go for a run, or meditate or do what the worrier inside you wants to do, the worrier wins the first battle. Each battle after that gets easier for the worrier to win. Give one chance to the Dragon, and your on a slippery slope.
There will be times when people give you criticism, which may fuel the dragon of resistance, which then takes over. When this happens, be aware of it, gather your strength and unleash that worrier again.
Steven Pressfield wrote the book “The War of Art”, and “Doing The Work” I couldn’t recommend these books more. These books outline the resistance and the worrier within all of us.
In your pursuit for happiness. How may times have you reached what you were working towards, only for it to fade back into empty desire? Happiness is triggered by biochemistry in the body. Each time, the same thing happens… and then its over, and we are again in search of the next goal.
This chemical reaction was designed to keep us alive. For example, imagine if we had reached eternal happiness. We wouldn’t need anything else in life. Thus, we wouldn’t eat when we were hungry, or sleep when we were tired. As a result, we would die. It would be The End…
Happiness was designed to fade, so that we would survive as a species. But too much desire, will ruin a man. It will only lead to further dissatisfaction in life.
The Buddha’s suggestion was to reduce our cravings for pleasant sensations, and not allow them to control our lives. With meditation we can train our minds to observe carefully how our sensations arise and pass. When the mind learns to see our sensations for what they are – ephemeral and meaningless vibrations – we loose interest in pursuing them, for what is the point of pursuing something that disappears as fast as it arises.
This is an interesting point I got from the book I’m currently reading called “Homo Deus” by Yuval Noah Harari. The same author of “Homo Sapiens” A brief history of human kind. His new book – Homo Deus – looks into what human kind will struggle with now that we have pretty much overcome famine, disease and war.
Also If you are interested in meditation. I super highly recommend the app “Headspace” for guided meditation practices.
There is a New Yorker cartoon that goes something like this: A perplexed person stands before two doors. One door says HEAVEN.The other says BOOKS ABOUT HEAVEN.
The funny thing about this is that a lot of us feel the pull to pick BOOKS ABOUT HEAVEN. Some strange force makes us want to back off, just for now, and choose instead heavens pale reflection. Fear of Success is the essence of resistance.
The key is understanding that this fear is inside us all. The more often we overcome this fear, the easer it will be to do so over and over again. The good thing is that the great idea, or the inspiration comes first! Then the fear sets in. Recognize the fear as a compass pointing you in the direction you need to go. Battle the fear and do the work!
This idea was in a book called DO THE WORK! – Overcome resistance and get out of your own way BY STEVEN PRESS-FIELD. I highly recommend it.
Most people say “why put in the work if the money is not good?” Well, everyone starts somewhere, usually at the bottom, and the money at the start is not whats going to get you to the top. It’s the blessings you earn along the way that will get you to the next level, and earn you the respect. Its the blessings that buy you what money cant.
This is something I have always done, to a certain point, without even realizing it. When starting off on a new job or building a new skill, the money doesn’t matter, as long as there is a learning curve to lean in to. Im doing it for blessings. When I’ve mastered a skill or the job, is when money starts to be the main focus. Thats when I’m no longer working for blessings. Thats the point where I’ll find a harder job to do, I’ll grow to the next level. I’d look for a new learning curve to lean into.
I started off as a waiter and bar tender. I’d be on time if not early, and cheerfully do the work to my best emotional and physical ability. It wasn’t about the money, it was for the blessings, the connections, the people, the difference I made. The money paid for my gas and my Nike’s. The blessings got me the better job, it got me respect, connections and free beer whenever I’m at that bar. The blessings provided the platform for me to find the next learning curve to lean into.
In property management, I remind myself this when I’m meeting an owner on a weekend, or dealing with a crisis that requires emotional labour far beyond any monetary compensation. This is when the blessings are on time and a-half! Working that extra mile, is for the blessings fund. Blessings will buy you what money cant.
In my opinion, the only way to negotiate and win, is if both sides win.
Basic negotiation starts with positional negotiation. For example, lets say we have one orange and two people who equally want the orange. In positional negotiation, the two parties are fixed to a position, and argue that point regardless of their interests. Each party want’s the orange, thats their position. Without looking into their interest’s, or why they want the orange, the mediator would decide to half the orange between the two parties. But what if half an orange would not satisfy the parties. We would have a standoff, and relationships would falter.
A better alternative is principled negotiation. This encourages the parties to use creative problem solving, by looking deeper into each position. Behind each position, lies the parties interests. In the example with the orange, we will look into why each party wanted the orange… we find that one party wanted to make orange juice, and the other party wanted the peel for orange zest. Now that we know each parties interests in the orange, we can have a better outcome and build a good relationship between the parties.
In property management we are negotiating every day. We negotiate move in dates, payment dates, letting fees, management fees, meeting times and even our weekends. Its an awesome platform to practice your negotiation skills. Always look behind the parties position, and find out what the interests are, thats where your solution lies. Ask lots of questions, upon questions, upon questions… until you have all the info you need. As a property manager, you are usually on one side of the negotiation. When dealing with tenants, be very firm and fair. You usually have the power and can dictate the outcome, don’t give up your power or be weak. Owners can do that themselves, they pay you to be a firm property manager. With owners, you will usually be on the weaker end due to client relationships. But be firm when it comes to your time after work and on the weekends. Sometimes sacrificing an hour or two on the weekend, will help foster those relationships. So it’s still win win.
A great book on Negotiating is “Getting to Yes” by William Ury. I also follow Ramit Sethi who wrote I will teach you to be rich. Check out his website here. http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com
I’ve just red “LINCHPIN” by Seth Godin. Seth is a marketing genius, he has written about 13 books which have all been best sellers. I have a man crush on him, I think he’s the modern day Yoda. In short, this book is about focusing on the right kind of work to make a difference.
The right kind of work is EMOTIONAL LABOUR, the work that human beings do. The hard stuff. The emotional connection we have with our clients and customers.
The work that will make the difference is not the job. Get the job done, the job is the machine part of what you do. The work is what will make you indispensable to clients and employers. It’s making that phone call rather then the email or text when appropriate, it’s following up, it’s caring, it’s connecting and being human.
This is very applicable to property management. For example, I’d get about 20 phone calls, 20 text’s and 20 emails on an average day. The key to making a difference is knowing when to do the job and when to do the work. Out of these 60 points of contact, I would use 5 to 10 per day to truly make a difference. Thats what sets apart the second best, from being the best! The no 1 spot. The trick is in knowing when to do the job, and when to do your work towards making a difference for an owner.